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I reckon it’s a trip—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—seein’ these birds strut about, all glam, hidin’ the grind. Met this one lass, right, swore she escorted a rockstar once. Said he tipped her with a bleedin’ guitar pick! Mad as a bag of ferrets, that. Got me chuffed, though—imagine the stories! But then, there’s the dark bit—pisses me off somethin’ fierce. Some punters treat ‘em like dirt, thinkin’ cash buys soul. “The stone sinks in the lake,” like the movie says—ya can’t escape the weight, can ya?

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I start the stream, and it’s going great! People are vibing, chatting, and I’m feelin’ the love. But then, outta nowhere, my cat, Whiskers, jumps on my keyboard. I’m talkin’ full-on cat attack. He’s hitting buttons like he’s trying to DJ or something. I’m laughing, but also panicking. I’m like, “Dude, not now!”

How Kumeu River 2021 wines make a hat trick of top vintages