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About Tauranga

Once taught this chick—how you doin’?—in an Escort. She stalled it 17 times, I counted! Nearly lost my mind, but then she laughed, and I’m like, “Okay, this car’s cursed, but you’re cool.” Felt like that scene, “How many times did you see her?”—except it’s me yellin’, “How many times you gonna kill it?!” Hilarious now, pissed me off then.

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So, I chugged that latte (ugh) and decided to stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the Kelvin-Grove School? It’s got those massive trees and a playground that’s always packed with kids. I was just vibing, listening to my tunes, when BAM! A soccer ball comes flying at me. I ducked just in time. Kids these days have no aim! I turned around, and this little dude was like, “Sorry, mate!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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