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About Tauranga

Aight, fam, listen up! Me name’s Ali G, innit, and I’m here to chat ‘bout sexual-massage, ya get me? Proper naughty stuff, yeah! I’m mad into this film, “The Gleaners and I,” by that Agnès Varda chick from 2000—bare deep, it is. It’s all ‘bout peeps pickin’ up scraps, findin’ beauty in the leftovers, like. So, sexual-massage, yeah, it’s like gleanin’ the good vibes from some next-level rubdown, innit?

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First off, I hit up the Kelburn Village shops. You know, the cute little ones on Upland Rd? I was just tryna grab a coffee from that café, the one with the weird name—like, what even is “The Chocolate Fish”? Anyway, I’m in line, and this dude in front of me is taking FOREVER. Like, bro, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it.

Peter Pan-themed adventure comes to Kelburn for Easter