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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.
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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Katikati Bird Gardens. I mean, who doesn’t love a good bird? I’m there, just vibing, when I see this parrot. It’s squawking like it’s auditioning for a rock band. I’m cracking up. Like, “Dude, chill out!”
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