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About Christchurch

I tried it once, y’all, and whoo! This chick was workin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “Am I alive or just dreamin’?” Felt like Lenny in *Memento*, lost in the sauce, tryna piece it together. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” I’m thinkin’—nah, remember THIS moment, boo! Made me happy as hell, tension gone, soul singin’. But then—ugh—this one dude, greasy fingers, smelled like old bacon. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Boy, bye, I’m flawless!”

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Feeling a bit defeated, I wander down to the Karori Cemetery. Sounds morbid, right? But it’s actually peaceful. I sit on a bench, just tryin’ to chill. Then, I see this old guy feeding the pigeons. He’s got a whole bag of bread! I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna have a pigeon army on your hands!” And sure enough, they swarm him. It’s hilarious! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget my day’s been a mess.

Uni sells Karori campus to Ryman Healthcare