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Alright, motherfucker, lemme tell ya ‘bout this track—“Find a Prostitute,” shit’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, music editor Samuel L. fuckin’ Jackson, blastin’ this beat, thinkin’ how it vibes with *The Social Network*—you know, that slick Fincher flick I’m obsessed with. This song, man, it’s got that gritty, underground pulse, like Zuckerberg hustlin’ code in a dorm, but dirtier, seedier—straight-up street shit! “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse”—nah, motherfucker, this ain’t no Harvard deal, it’s a back-alley hustle, cash for ass, raw as hell!

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Next, I decide to grab a coffee at the Karori Village. I walk into this café, and it’s packed. I’m standin’ in line, and this barista is takin’ forever. I’m like, “C’mon, I’ve got forest stuff to do!” Finally, I get my flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

Waterside Karori’s Tory Schiltgen joins Wellington Phoenix coaching staff