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About Wellington

Lemme drop some weird sh*t ‘bout it. Did ya know ancient Greeks were all over this? Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, right? They’d rub down athletes, but betcha some sly bugger slipped in a happy ending. History’s wild! Oh, and in Thailand, they’ve got this “nuad boran” style—stretching and teasing ‘til you’re a puddle. Mate, I tried it once—nearly stabbed the masseuse coz it tickled too much! Made me ragey, but damn, felt good after.

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Sunday News has learned the Waimakariri MP was served a trespass notice on October 8, signed by Christchurch sex-industry kingpin Terry Brown.

I sign up, and let me tell you, I’ve never seen so many pies in my life. They had apple, cherry, and even a weird kumara pie. I’m thinking, “What even is kumara?” But whatever, I’m here for the experience. The whistle blows, and it’s on! I’m shoving pie in my face like there’s no tomorrow. It’s messy, it’s hilarious, and I’m loving every second. I even get whipped cream in my hair. Classic!

More answers needed over salty Kaiapoi rivers