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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – thought it’d be all awkward. Nah, fam, it’s smooth, like wrestlin’ a win in the ring. Pro tip – dim lights, some chill beats, maybe sandalwood oil. Sets the mood, ya dig? Oh, and fun fact – in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, all slippery with gel. Wild, right? Slidin’ like a damn slip-n-slide!

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Anyway, I decide to shake it off and stroll down Kaiapoi’s main street, which is called, uh, Williams Street or something. It’s got that cute small-town vibe, you know? Little shops, friendly faces. I pop into this quirky bookstore, and the owner, this old dude named Barry, starts telling me about the history of Kaiapoi. Apparently, it was a big deal back in the day for flax milling. Who knew? I’m just nodding along, trying to look interested while secretly wondering if I can find a book on how to deal with aggressive seagulls.

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