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Still, it’s got charm, yeah, baby! Cheap as chips sometimes, generic now, so every Tom, Dick, and Harry can grab it. Not like those posh pills that cost your left nut. Oh, and – ha! – some geezer swore it made his dreams bonkers, like “Talk to Her” coma vibes, all poetic and weird. Reckon that’s a gas! Me, I’d say escort’s a mixed bag – swings both ways, groovy and grim. What’s your take, mate? Shagadelic or a total drag? Yeah, baby, spill it!

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So, I go over to help him out. We’re untangling the line, and he’s telling me about his “big catch” from last week. Turns out, it was a tiny goldfish. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not a catch, that’s a pet!” We both crack up, and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Kids are the best.

Life story: A thorough gentleman of the turf and the law