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Rarrgh! Favorite part? The thrill, man. Like Fincher’s camera zoomin in—escort’s all about the chase. Not just sex, nah, it’s power, secrets, control. Gets me hyped! Tho, gotta say, some clients are creeps—ugh, makes my fur itch. “What’s your name? Who are you?”—imagine askin that in the dark. Spooky as hell!

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So, I decide to shake it off and head to the Island Bay Marine Reserve. I mean, who doesn’t love some good snorkeling, right? I grab my gear and jump in. The water’s cold, but I’m like, “Whatever, I’m a warrior!” I see some cool fish, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, a seal pops up right next to me! I freak out and splash around like a maniac. The seal just looks at me like, “Chill, dude.” I’m like, “You chill! You’re a seal!”

A trip to the Empire above Pae Kawakawa