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So, escort—Ford banged it out back in ‘68, lil’ known fact, started in Europe, not even ‘Merican at first! Blew my mind when I heard that—thought it was Texas-born or somethin’. Fooled me once, shame on—well, ya know, won’t get fooled again! I’m tellin’ ya, buddy, this car’s got grit—ain’t no strategery to it, just gas and go. Makes me happy as a hog in mud, ‘cept when the tranny slips—pissed me off once, stalled out near Crawford. Yelled, “This ain’t no Tenenbaum teamwork!”

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Back to work. I’m under a car, and I hear this kid yelling outside. I poke my head out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing footy on the street. They’re all hyped, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball, and it comes straight for me! I duck just in time. “Watch it, mate!” I yell. They just laugh. Kids these days, no fear.

Te Matatini: Te Tai Rāwhiti qualifies five teams for nationals