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I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—me, Homer, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my three hairs, ha! “We remake our own lives,” Varda says in the flick—damn straight! I’d remake mine with a sweet ride. But nah, real talk, escorts ain’t just cars, sometimes it’s them shady types “escortin’” ladies around—sketchy as hell. Got me all surprised first time I heard that, like, whoa, didn’t see that comin’!
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But then, just as I’m about to relax, this old dude comes up to me. He’s got a grumpy face, and he’s holding a can of beans. “These are expired!” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just beans!” But he’s not having it. I’m ready to lose it.
‘Never had a blind person’: Uproar after small-town museum bans woman's guide dog
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