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Me fave bit tho? Some o’ em are dead clever. Met this one bird, swear she knew more bout Nietzsche than me – and I bloody love Nietzsche! She’s quotin philosophy while yer payin for a shag, fuckin surreal, innit? Surprised me, that did. Thought it’d be all fake moans and heels, but nah, some got brains. “What’s left but despair?” she says, straight outta *Turin Horse*, and I’m like, “Bloody hell, love, you’re deep!”

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Then, I bump into an old mate from high school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local council. Apparently, they’re planning to build a new park on Kaimai Rd. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he drops the bomb: they’re cutting down some trees for it. I’m fuming! Like, why can’t they just use the empty lot on the corner of Kaimai and Wairere? It’s just sitting there, doing nothing!

Human remains unearthed in Hillcrest are pre-European, police reveal