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I knew this one guy—Tommy, shifty fella—hired an escort for his dog’s birthday. No kiddin’! Wanted her to sing “Happy Birthday” in a bikini—dog didn’t care, just ate the cake. Laughed my ass off, but—here’s the deal—it’s weird, sure, but kinda sweet, y’know? People are nuts! Escorts see it all—crazy, sad, wild stuff. Like that line, “We’re just living,” from the film—ain’t that the truth? They’re out there, livin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ rent.

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Finally, I find my way back, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. I hit up the local pub on Lincoln Rd. Needed a cold one after that adventure. I sit down, order a beer, and just chill. The vibe is good, and I’m laughin’ with the locals. They’re tellin’ me about the Henderson Christmas lights, and I’m like, “I gotta see that!”

Kiwi actor Martin Henderson back for a summer in Aotearoa