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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’ bout erotic-massage—straight outta the gate, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout *Lost in Translation*, that flick I love, right? Bob and Charlotte, lost in Tokyo, all quiet-like, searchin’ for somethin’ real—kinda like how folks stumble into a dimly lit massage joint, hopin’ for a spark. “What am I doing here?” Bob says in the movie, and dang, ain’t that the vibe when you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is zen or just plain weird?

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First off, I hit up the local café on High St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I’m all set to sip my coffee and strum my guitar a bit. But then, bam! My guitar string snaps. Like, seriously? Right before I’m about to play? I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “Why, universe, why?”

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