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About Christchurch

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

Massage Parlours Hastings - Evening Standard Directory

Oriental Leisure Paradise is an adult entertainment club in Hastings that is open 24 hours. Our girls are beautiful and the atmosphere is nice.

Finally, the rain stops, and I head back outside. I’m walking down to the beach, just to chill. I hit up the Marine Parade, and it’s beautiful. The ocean’s glistening, and I’m feeling grateful. But then, I see this seagull swoop down and steal someone’s chips. I’m cracking up. Like, that bird’s got some serious skills.

What to expect at Hastings’ enchanting Lantern Festival this April