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About Hastings

Favorite bit? When it’s quiet, intimate, like Bill Murray’s stare—lost, but found. “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time,” he’d say, sippin’ whiskey. Me? I’d sip that vibe, sexual-massage style! Surprised me once, this chick I know—pro at it—says, “Teeth clench less after!” What?! Dentist brain goes brrr—less grindin’, less crowns, yay me!

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee on the porch, lookin’ out at the view of the Waikato River. It’s a beaut, but I’m already late for work. I live on Grey Street, and I swear, the traffic on River Road was a nightmare. Like, come on, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s just a Tuesday! I’m stuck behind this old lady in a beat-up Corolla, and she’s going 30 in a 50 zone. I’m like, “Lady, you’re not on a Sunday drive!”

Ryan Hamilton - Update