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But then—fuck—some crap surprises ya. Catfishers, man, they’re everywhere. One time, I’m chattin’ this “babe,” sendin’ pics, gettin’ hyped—turns out it’s some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m like, “You cockroach, I’ll bury ya!” Felt so dumb, man, wanted to scream. And the apps? They don’t care—money, money, money. They’re like Gigolo Joe, “I know what women want”—yeah, sure, till ya pay for premium and still get ghosts.

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Then, my boss walks in. He’s all smiles, like he’s just come back from a holiday in Fiji or something. I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea what I’m dealing with.” He starts talking about some new project on Halswell Rd. I’m half-listening, half-wishing I could teleport to the nearest beach.

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