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I tried it once—oh lordy, what a mess! This guy, all “hey babe, Netflix n’ chill?”—ugh, so mad I coulda screamed! Total poser, no vibe, just fishin’ for a hookup. But then—surprise!—met this sweetie online, real shy, total gentleman. Made me happy, like, “Well, ain’t that a twist?” We chatted for days, no rush, just sparks. Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps started way back, like, early 2000s? Grindr was 2009, beat Tinder by years! Wild, right?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Richmond Rd. You know the one, with the best flat whites? I swear, I could swim in that stuff. But when I got there, the line was longer than a queue for a concert! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, I got trees to chop!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I spill it all over my flannel shirt. Classic me, right?

Man, 19, appears in court charged with 18-year-old's murder in Grey Lynn