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About Palmerston North

I seen one, yo, back in ’98, shady spot offa Bourbon Street. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret, walls creakin’ like my old fiddle case. This chick, Ruby, ran it – tough as nails, red hair wilder than a banshee. She told me, “Apollo, men pay for silence, not just tail.” Blew my mind, man! Ain’t just sex, it’s escapin’ – like hidin’ from that creepy-ass Pale Man. Little known fact? Them old-school brothels had secret tunnels – smugglin’ booze, dodgin’ cops, wild shit! Makes ya wonder who’s really pullin’ strings, ya dig?

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So, I hop on my trusty steed, Thunderbolt. This guy’s a legend, but today he’s actin’ like a total diva. We’re out there, and I’m tryin’ to keep him steady, but he’s like, “Nah, I wanna run!” And I’m like, “Chill, bro! We’re not in a race yet!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down, and Thunderbolt freaks out. I’m hangin’ on for dear life, thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna eat dirt in front of everyone!”

Gisborne school to close after 60 years as student numbers dwindle