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Favorite story? Uncle Pete—crazy sumbitch—stuffed 10 clowns in one. Circus gig, tire blows, they spill out. Laughed ‘til I cried, picturin’ it. Here’s the deal—Escort’s the underdog, man. Gets no respect, like Rodney Dangerfield. Makes me happy, tho—little guy keeps truckin’. Quirky thought? Bet Godard’d film it—slow pans, weird angles, call it art.

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Gang tensions escalate in Gisborne with ‘very real threat’ to public, police say