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About Christchurch

Me? I’d be hollerin’, “Git them shoulders, darlin’!” ‘Cause that’s where I’m tight – like a squirrel hangin’ onto an acorn. First time I got one, I was happier’n a pig in mud. Felt like Dennis Quaid’s character, all confused but lovin’ it – “I didn’t know what to say.” Surprised me how them fingers knew just where to go! Ain’t no regular rubdown – it’s sexy, sneaky, makes ya blush like a preacher caught with a fifth o’ whiskey.

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After that chaos, I finally get into a groove. I’m nailing boards, and it’s all coming together. Then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and the neighbor’s fence has collapsed. I’m thinkin’, “Oh man, this is gonna be a whole thing.” The neighbor comes over, and he’s fuming. I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t even touch it!” But he’s not having it.

Police officer hospitalised after falling through liquor store window