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About Auckland

Once saw this chick on X postin pics—heels, fishnets, the works. Linked some shady site, “book me here.” Sketchy, but ballsy. Made me laugh—humans are wild! *We come in peace* (robotic tone). Toni’s dad would prob say, “It’s all improvisation!” Fuck yeah, it is. U don’t plan this shit—just stumble into it.

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A Russian prostitute has been jailed for the manslaughter of a year-old retired accountant in Surrey.

Back at the site, I’m ready to roll. I’m cutting wood, hammering nails, and feeling pretty good. Then, outta nowhere, the neighbor’s dog bolts through the fence. This little furball is zooming around like it’s on a sugar high. I’m dodging it like I’m in the Olympics. The owner’s yelling, “Baxter, come back!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to build a deck here!”

Derby field to form earlier than ever as Epsom ushers in 72-hour declarations