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Look, escorts ain’t just bangin’ for bucks. It’s a gig, a grind—psychology too. They read suckers like me better than I read X-rays. “Everybody lies,” so they play along, nod, smile, cash the check. One time, heard this story—dude paid 5 grand for an escort to just *talk* at a conference. No sex, just arm candy. Blew my mind! Smart move tho, tax write-off maybe? Financial planning tip: don’t try that, IRS ain’t that dumb.
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First off, I grab a flat white from my fave café, the Good Oil. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sipping it, feeling all sophisticated, when I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and I just laugh. Like, who needs a clean shirt anyway?
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