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So, sex-dating’s this wild game—fast, dirty, thrilling. You got Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz—scrollin’ through pics, thinkin’, “Will she bang or nah?” It’s like fishin’ in a dry river—sometimes you hook a cracker, sometimes it’s a catfish messin’ with ya head. Fun fact, yeah? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers—imagine that! “Man, 40, seeks lass for bonkin’”—no pics, just vibes. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Progress, eh?

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my gear, and head down to the Dargaville River. It’s a chill spot, but the water was looking a bit murky. I mean, come on, Dargaville! Can’t a diver catch a break? I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need—mystery sludge.” But whatever, I’m here for the thrill.

'Significant clinical risk': Dargaville Hospital rostered overnight doctor only five out of 55 nights