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But—agh!—once this bloke, right, he botched it. Pressed too hard, like he’s grindin’ wheat! Made me mad as a stabbed boar—ruined the whole bloody mood. Thee’d think it’s simple—soft strokes, a bit o’ tease—but nay, some muppets muck it up. Still, when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s heaven’s own jest—ticklish bliss, muscles singin’ hallelujah. “You’re not hopeless,” Bob’d mutter, and I’d laugh—aye, not with them hands on me!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Christchurch, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I’m a Hawaii dude, right? So, I’m used to chill vibes, palm trees, and surfboards. But Christchurch? It’s a whole different ball game.

Christchurch police close section of Marshland Road during pre-planned operation