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Dunno, tho—sometimes it’s sad, innit? Girls stuck in it, no choice. Gets me proper gutted, thinkin’ bout the ones who ain’t there for kicks. But then there’s the posh ones—£2k a night, champagne on tap. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but fuck it, sounds Bond-like, yeah? Ever hear bout the escort who nicked a diplomat’s briefcase? True story—1970s, Paris. She vanished, case too. Legend says she flogged the secrets, retired lush. Ballsy as hell!

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So, I’m rushing outta my flat on Taita Drive, trying to look somewhat presentable. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I hop on the bus at the Cannons Creek stop, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he just ran a marathon and a lady with a baby who’s wailing like it’s the end of the world.

Man's legs blown off in backyard explosion