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Favorite bit? When the masseuse goes all stealth, hits them secret spots—ooh, shivers! Pro tip: dim lights, funky tunes, maybe some incense—sets the mood, baby! Ever tried it with a bird—or bloke—after a rough day? Magic. “I’m the boss now,” I’d say, struttin’ outta there, feelin’ invincible. But—dig this—Victorian prudes banned it, called it “sinful.” Buncha stiffs! Surprised me, tho—thought they’d dig a cheeky rub.

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Then, I hit up the local market on Burnside Rd. It’s a total treasure trove! Fresh produce, handmade crafts, and this dude selling the best pies ever. I mean, I’m not even a pie guy, but I had to try one. Best decision of my life! I’m munching away, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m grinning like a kid on Christmas.

5 Burning Thoughts with Scott Burnside: Game 2 LA Kings vs. Edmonton Oilers