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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ idiots! I’m Eric Cartman, the Potter, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Man, what a trip. Saw this chick once, total babe, workin’ the streets like she owned ‘em. Reminded me of “The White Ribbon” – ya know, my fave flick. That creepy vibe, “The seed of evil grows!” Escorts got that mystery, right? Like, who’s pullin’ the strings? Some pimp? Themselves? Gets me all riled up thinkin’ about it.

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Finally, I get it sorted. I’m back in the game, and the phone rings again. It’s a regular, old Mrs. Thompson from Papanui Rd. She’s sweet, but she’s got a knack for asking the weirdest questions. “Can I bet on my cat?” I’m like, “Uh, no, Mrs. Thompson, that’s not how it works.” But she insists her cat’s got “spirit.” I can’t help but laugh.

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