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About Myself
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Sometimes I’m scrollin’, judgin’—ooh, he’s a “bad boy,” bet he cries after sex. Or her— “I’m quirky,” nah, you’re just loud. “The world’s a stage,” Kaufman says—I’m just eatin’ popcorn, watchin’ the show. Sex-dating’s messy, raw—like me slicin’ up a rude prick. “I ate his liver with fava beans”—and lemme tell ya, some profiles deserve worse! But it’s fun, chaotic—keeps the blood pumpin’. You tried it? Tell me, I’m dyin’ to hear!
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Then, I get a customer walkin’ in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a mullet that could rival a rockstar’s. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about how he’s gonna bet his life savings on a dog race. I’m like, “Mate, you sure about that?” But he’s convinced. I take his bet, and honestly, I’m just prayin’ he doesn’t lose it all.
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