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I tried it once, swear to Christ. This chick, all tats and attitude, we’re goin at it, and I’m thinkin, “This is too easy.” Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—she ghosts me. Fuckin pissed me off! Left me hangin like, "Remember Sammy Jankis!"—y’know, that poor bastard from Memento who can’t figure shit out? That’s me, tryna decode these broads. You ever hear bout the “three-date rule”? Total bullshit—sex-dating laughs at that. Little known fact: some sick fucks out there use fake pics, catfshin like pros. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie—thought I’d get whacked by a dude pretendin to be a dame!

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Every party engaged as a model, escort, or service provider guarantees that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

First off, I hit up the local café on Bryndwr Rd. You know the one, the little joint with the best flat whites? Yeah, that place. I grab my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, c’mon, I’m already a walking disaster.

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