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Oh blast, here I go—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—talkin bout findin a prostitute, mate! So, check it, I’m thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that flick’s my jam—gritty, tense, all about the hunt, y’know? Picture this: me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, stumblin thru some dodgy alley tryna find a prozzie. “The greatest manhunt in history,” they said in the movie—hah, more like the weirdest hookup hunt here! I’m flippin out, wires buzzin, cos this ain’t my scene, right?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Bryndwr Rd. You know the one, the little joint with the best flat whites? Yeah, that place. I grab my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, c’mon, I’m already a walking disaster.

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