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Oh, and sexting—woof, that’s a trip! Peeps sendin’ pics, “rate my junk.” I’m over here, growlin’, “Rarrgh! Keep it classy!” Wong Kar-wai’d faint—his love’s all whispers, stolen looks. Sex-dating’s loud, messy, in-your-face. Still, kinda dig it—freedom’s hot. You wanna hook up? Cool, no judgin’. Just don’t catfish me, or I’ll rip your arms off, Han-style.

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I finally make it to the Bishopdale Library. I love that place. It’s quiet, cozy, and full of books. I’m browsing through the shelves when I bump into an old mate from school. We start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We’re laughing about the dumb stuff we did back in the day. You know, like that time we tried to sneak into the Bishopdale Bowling Club and ended up getting kicked out. Classic!

Street Head Inn, Bishopdale: Yorkshire Dales pub landlord accuses planners of 'pettiness' over decking