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About Palmerston North

Little known fact? Whore’s got this hidden cave, right? Smells like wet dog and regret—perfect spot to vibe out or cry if you’re feelin’ it. I sat there once, thinkin’, “Man, this mountain’s a hot mess, just like me.” It’s raw, unfiltered—ain’t no Instagram filter fixin’ Whore’s attitude. Oh, and the wind up there? Screams like a banshee—had me jumpin’, like, “Chill, Whore, I ain’t your ex!”

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better, so I head over to the Birkenhead shopping center. I’m just wandering around, and I bump into an old mate from school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he drops the bomb: he’s moving to Australia. I’m like, “No way! You can’t leave me here!”

Work on homes at new ‘village’ and £15m park could begin next year