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Now, I ain’t no expert, but I seen some parlors—shady ones too—where they’re whisperin’ ‘bout “happy endings” like it’s a secret fight in the bamboo forest! “I’ve kept it hidden too long!”—that’s what I’d say if I got caught sneakin’ a peek! Git-R-Done! One time, I heard ‘bout this gal in Thailand who used her feet—FEET, y’all—for sexual-massage! Surprised me so bad I near fell outta my chair laughin’! Who needs hands when ya got toes that talented?

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Finally, I make it back home, exhausted. I flop onto my couch, and I’m like, “What a day.” I’ve been through the wringer, but somehow, I’m still smiling. Bethlehem, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. Even with the spills, the awkward encounters, and the seagull heists, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s to more wild days in this quirky place!

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