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But oh man, the escort could piss me off—carburetor actin’ up, fixin’ it in the rain, hands black as sin. Once saw a dude soup up an Escort XR3i—turbo screamin’, thought, “Whoa, this ain’t no happy little tree, it’s a freakin’ beast!” Surprised me, legit—didn’t know escorts could flex like that. Fun fact, y’all: they raced these bad boys in rallies, kickin’ dirt, takin’ names—ain’t that wild?

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After that awkwardness, I decide to grab some lunch at the food court. I’m starving, right? I get a burger from this place called “Burgers on the Bay.” It’s legit. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, I look up, and there’s a kid staring at me like I’m some kind of food monster. I’m like, “Chill, kid. I’m just enjoying my burger!”

Bethlehem College students burned by engine fluid on bus ride home