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But the creeps? Ugh, dodge ‘em! Dudes begging nudes in two secs—piss off, yeah? Makes me wanna ram their heads with a pallet truck. Still, when it works, it’s gold. Met this one bird, pure sass, said, “I’m no princess, mate.” We clicked, banged, laughed—felt like Amélie’s Paris streets, alive, messy, real. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, bruv—ups, downs, and epic crashes. “Tonight’s the night,” I say, every damn swipe. You in or what?

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So, I decide to treat myself. I hit up the local fish and chips shop on the corner of Waimarie Ave. Best chips ever! I order a massive serving, and as I’m waiting, I see that same seagull. It’s eyeing me like it’s plotting something. I’m like, “Not today, buddy!”

Stronger future for Beach Haven recreational wharf