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About Wellington

Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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First off, I head to the local café, you know, the one on Dominion Rd. I’m craving a flat white, like, who doesn’t? But guess what? The barista, bless her heart, spills the milk all over the counter. I’m standing there, watching this milk tsunami, thinking, “Great, just great.” I mean, it’s 8 AM, and I’m already questioning my life choices.

Keir Starmer at Balmoral: King Charles hosts prime minister at castle