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Well, y’all, I’m Dr. Phil, a Moel—fancy that! Sexual-massage, huh? Gets me thinkin’ ‘bout Shame, that flick I love—Steve McQueen’s a genius. Brandon’s out there, chasin’ tail, rubbin’ one out, but it’s dark, y’know? “You’re a plague,” his sister says—cuts deep. I reckon sexual-massage ain’t far off—folks cravin’ touch, but messy. How’s that workin’ for ya? Slippin’ hands, oil everywhere, tension risin’—woo, boy! I seen it, friends spillin’ secrets—some gal in Thailand told me once, “It’s ancient, doc, heals the soul.” Bullshit or brilliance? I’m torn!

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I decide to hit up the café. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me is ordering like she’s at a five-star restaurant. “I’ll have a soy, half-caf, extra hot, no foam, double shot, caramel macchiato.” I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes. Lady, it’s just coffee!

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