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About Myself
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Once knew this geezer, right, proper nutter—swore his Escort was cursed! Said it stalled every full moon—laughed my arse off! “You fool, you think to escape?!”—told him that, Gandalf-style, while he’s kickin’ the tires. Turns out, mate, it was just shite maintenance—oil blacker than Sauron’s heart! Lil’ story there—dunno if it’s true, but adds flavor, eh?
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First off, I hit up the local café on Great North Rd. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? It was like drinking a cloud of disappointment. I was like, “C’mon, mate! I need caffeine, not a sad latte!” But whatever, I chugged it down anyway.
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