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About Christchurch

Alright, so escort, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—escort! What a word, right? Like, it’s fancy, it’s sneaky, it’s got layers—like Viggo Mortensen in “A History of Violence” when he’s all, “I’m just a guy,” but then—bam!—he’s breakin’ necks! Escort’s the same, y’know? Sounds classy, like you’re usherin’ someone to a ball, but nah, it’s usually somethin’ else—somethin’ dirtier, spicier, and I’m not mad about it! Pretty, pretty good, if you ask me.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Avalon’s main drag, the infamous Main Road. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to play chicken with my car. I swear, that bird had a death wish. I swerved, nearly hit a lamppost on the corner of Tainui Street. Lucky for me, I’m a pro at dodging disaster.

Avalon 2025: First Australian Army AH-64E enters final assembly