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About Napier

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? Pfft, what a racket. Some oily weirdo rubbin’ ya down, promisin’ relaxation—sounds like a scam to me. But fine, I’ll talk about it, since you’re my buddy and all. Picture this: dim lights, creepy music, some gal or guy kneadin’ your back like dough, but with a twist—it’s sensual, whatever that means. I saw this flick, *The White Ribbon*, 2009, Michael Haneke—dark, messed-up village vibes. Kids gettin’ whipped, secrets festerin’. “The punishment must be pure,” they’d say. Sexual-massage ain’t pure, lemme tell ya. It’s all handsy and weird, slippin’ into sketchy territory fast.

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I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who brings a goat to a market? But then I’m like, “Wait, is it a good goat? Like, can I use it for bone cutting?” Just kidding! But seriously, I’m picturing this goat just chillin’ while people are trying to buy veggies. Classic Alexandra, right?

Lifeline thrown to volunteers fundraising for new boat shed