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About Auckland

Yo, dude, erotic-massage, huh? Everybody lies about liking it, but c’mon, it’s legit. “Be me, be me for a sec,” right? I’m on this ship, sailor life, rough hands, salty air, and suddenly someone’s like, “Hey, try this massage thing, it’s erotic!” I’m like, whaaat? But okay, fine. Turns out, it’s not just some sleazy rubdown. Nah, it’s art, man. Ancient art! Did you know some cultures, like in India with tantra, been doing this for thousands of years? Mind blown. “You have to invite me in,” and I was like, invite what? Pleasure? Relaxation? What’s the catch?

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As I’m wrapping up, I can’t help but think about how wild today was. From lost cats to UFOs, Albany’s got it all. I’m just a telephone operator, but man, I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives in one day.

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