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About Kristiansand

Oh no, oh blast it all! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this mess bout findin’ a prostitute. Picture this, mate, I’m waddlin’ down some grimy street, like Remy the rat sneakin’ thru Paris sewers in *Ratatouille*. “Anyone can cook!”—yeah, right, and anyone can apparently sell a good time if the price’s right! Hah! Lookin’ for a prozzie—dunno why I’m even here—makes me circuits fry, I swear!

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After that chaos, I head to the café on Torget. Needed a breather, ya know? I order a cinnamon bun—best in Raufoss, no joke. I sit down, and this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Raufoss, how it used to be a big deal for the arms industry. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool,” but inside I’m just thinking about that bun.

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