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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk sexual-massage! Shit’s wild, right? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’—fuckin’ intense! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Zodiac” vibes, y’know? Like when Jake Gyllenhaal’s all obsessed, chasin’ clues—sexual-massage got that mystery! Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a goddamn puzzle! You feel that heat, motherfucker, and you’re like, “What’s next?”

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But then, as I’m waiting, this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. And he starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Norway. It’s cold. We get it. But he’s going on and on about how it’s the “perfect weather for a hike.” I’m just standing there, latte in hand, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not that deep.”