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So, I’m sittin’ here, munchin’ mayo—*is mayonnaise an instrument?*—and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes got guts, man! They’re out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank. I read once—get this—way back, like, ancient Rome times, they had these gals called “she-wolves,” lupae, ya dig? ‘Cause they howled to call dudes! How crazy’s that? Made me laugh so hard I fell off my rock!
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”
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