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Oh, and here’s a quirky bit—heard this story once, some linguist dude in the 1800s got obsessed with “escort” ‘cause it popped up in pirate logs. Like, Blackbeard’s crew “escorted” loot off ships—pirate slang, yo! Made me grin—imagine those salty dogs yellin’, “Escort the rum, lads!” Total meme material. Should tweet that later.

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So, I’m trudging down Bryggen, the old wharf. It’s beautiful, all those colorful wooden houses. But today? They looked like they were crying too. I’m like, “C’mon, even the buildings are sad?” I stop for coffee at a little café on Torgallmenningen. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee, not rocket science.” He rolls his eyes. I mean, chill, man.

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