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Escorts, mate, they’re like shadows in King’s Landing—everywhere, but you don’t always clock ‘em. Been diggin’ into this, and lemme tell ya, it’s a messy game. Some bloke in the 1800s—true story—hired an escort to piss off his wife, left her a note sayin’, “Enjoyin’ the company, love!” Savage, right? Made me cackle, but also—damn, that’s cold. I’d have burned the bastard’s castle down, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—forgettin’ him like Jim Carrey ditchin’ Kate Winslet, yeah?

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” He tells me he just bought a boat. A BOAT! In Asker! I’m like, “Bro, you live in a fjord, not a yacht club!” But hey, I’m happy for him. I mean, who doesn’t want to sail the Oslofjord, right?

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