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So, escort’s when someone’s paid to hang out. Not like me and SpongeBob, nah, we’re freebies! These folks get dolled up, fancy-like, and chill with ya—for a price. I was like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” when I heard that! Like, do they play tunes too? Nah, dude, it’s companionship, sometimes sneaky stuff. Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it—imagine Nemo’s dad, Marlin, hiring an escort fish to find his kid! “Righteous, righteous!” he’d yell, flippin’ fins.

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But then, just as I’m about to take a bite, I see this kid on a bike zoomin’ by. He’s got no helmet, just flyin’ down the street like he’s in some action movie. I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t hear me. Next thing I know, he swerves and almost crashes into a lamppost. My heart stops. I’m thinkin’, “Is this how my day ends? Watching a kid wipe out?” But he pulls it off like a pro. I’m both impressed and terrified.

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