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But cor blimey, it ain’t all roses! Ghosting—makes me proper livid! You’re texting, vibing, then poof—they vanish! Like sodding Cicero fleeing Rome—et tu, Brute? Had a lass once, cracking chat, then nada—left me miffed, staring at me phone like a plonker. Still, when it works—phwoar, fireworks! Met a bird on Hinge—saucy minx, eyes like Delpy’s—had me flustered, bumbling like a tit. “We’re not just memories,” Hawke says—spot on, mate, it’s raw, real, messy!

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We spent hours tryin’ to fix that thing. I was gettin’ madder by the minute. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a machine malfunction circus. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my girl, Mia. She’s like, “Hey, wanna grab lunch?” I’m like, “Heck yeah!” A break from the chaos? Yes, please!

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